With the coming of the 31st Dec, i cant help but look back.
Things of the past: -
- Looking through a friends blog and wondering if it was a stupid decision to not take up opportunities to go further.
- reminiscing about old times with old friends.. and catching up and who's with who doing what with what.
- an old grudge that was never quite said, settled or explained but definitely not over.
- some secrets that you learn later on that were never quite fully revealed.
Mostly, i find myself accompanied by the feeling of regret this time of the year. Wondering whether i should have done more, seen more, gotten to know more people and traveled more. Am i doing enough? What more do i want? Mmm.. sounds so greedy. Of course, then the mind wonders forward- to what lies ahead. The job, the place, the friends, the love? I was somewhat 'inspired' by an ex-classmate recently when we met up. The way he had it all planned and the drive to do it. But why- do i want my life planned out like that? and dont i somewhat already have it planned out? Perhaps its just the plan which has the most prestige and $$ that entices, or the feeling that i could have more if i planned it out well. The resistance to put myself in a place where i find regret once again. But if you never knew you could have it, You'd never regret it. |
