| Starfish |
| What i am. |
| Think about Being.. |
| a wabbit ☺ unskilled and unaware of it ☺ humble ☺ louder than life ☺ passionate ☺ full of empathy ☺ irritated |
| SaY SomEthIng!! |
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| Things of the past |
| 24.12.08 |
With the coming of the 31st Dec, i cant help but look back.
Things of the past: -
- Looking through a friends blog and wondering if it was a stupid decision to not take up opportunities to go further.
- reminiscing about old times with old friends.. and catching up and who's with who doing what with what.
- an old grudge that was never quite said, settled or explained but definitely not over.
- some secrets that you learn later on that were never quite fully revealed.
Mostly, i find myself accompanied by the feeling of regret this time of the year. Wondering whether i should have done more, seen more, gotten to know more people and traveled more. Am i doing enough? What more do i want? Mmm.. sounds so greedy. Of course, then the mind wonders forward- to what lies ahead. The job, the place, the friends, the love? I was somewhat 'inspired' by an ex-classmate recently when we met up. The way he had it all planned and the drive to do it. But why- do i want my life planned out like that? and dont i somewhat already have it planned out? Perhaps its just the plan which has the most prestige and $$ that entices, or the feeling that i could have more if i planned it out well. The resistance to put myself in a place where i find regret once again. But if you never knew you could have it, You'd never regret it. |
| posted by su @ 4:25 AM |
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| Looking back.. |
| 19.9.08 |
Ooh.
I think that when we reminisce of things that have past, only the good bits come into focus. We forget the anxieties, the little irritating things and so on. Unless you're thinking of a bad gut wrenching moment.
Packing up for a 2 week break.
Got a job. Got my pay. Got more shopping done.
- getting out now?
Did what i believe was an interesting art piece for a friend. Which started of as a transfer-image thing but ended up as something else.
I love it.
What do you call it? Wanting/regreting not getting something only to find that when its in front of you its not that fantastic after all? Great expectations. Ha.
I need time- to sit down on the side a bit. |
| posted by su @ 10:17 AM |
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| In every direction |
| 18.8.08 |
Having one of those days where i feel like im not doing enough and i want to do just about everything.
Must focus. Can't just splurge out to do a zillion different things and end up doing none.
There is stuff. But i'm just not looking at what i already have.
There are:-
- The malay dances, and hence the upcoming malay movie - which i hope will be enjoyable.
- The pursuit of the casual job
- The constant uni subjects and endless readings
- The IH musical -which i hope will not flop
and.. a keeping a look out for opportunities along the way.
HEADS UP~!!
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| posted by su @ 4:41 AM |
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| Su’s Musing : Loneliness |
| 17.12.07 |
These are the basic needs of mankind: food, water & shelter. Once these basic necessities are met, as theorized by Maslow, we move up the hierarchy of needs to the next level: social needs.
Watching ‘I Am Legend’, which turned out to be somewhat of a horror show, last night, I was struck by one scene in the movie in which Will Smith, having lost his only companion –his dog, talks to a mannequin pleading her to respond back to him. The desperation that arises in wanting to have someone else when you realize that you are all alone is something we all recognize innately, despite the strong independent fronts some of us put up. I don’t mean having some alone time where you can reflect on things you’ve done, plan what to do next or just lie down to read a book, I’m talking about being absolutely abandoned where you have no one to talk to, no one around you and no one to come for you. Truly, what is there to do once we are by ourselves?
And so, this longing drives us to find a social group where we find support emotionally and physically. Some need only a single person to be there at the end of the day- a husband, some need many to float to and from like a butterfly and some opt for the constantly changing partners – slu.. g. (ha, no not in that manner, but more of having different close friends of the moment). Stepping out of doomsday movies into reality, we are face with many choices on socializing; the depth, the frequency, the duration and so much more.
It is at this point that I look at my own life and identify the friends I’ve had: the ones kept, the ones lost, the new ones made, the ones in the outer circle. I realize that the ones I consider my closest friends are actually the ones who’ve conveniently been around me for a long time. I’m not reducing the friendship to something less, but the main reason it happened was because it was convenient. Let’s face it, would we have any of our friends unless it was convenient? Except for one or two, it was a matter of same time, same place. The ones that still remain despite long dormant periods have their foundations from a moment when a connection was felt during the time of acquaintance. This of course requires mutual yearning to have the link continue. If not it is futile. You’d just be talking to very uninterested wall of a person. And I don’t think you should quite reduce yourself to beg for a response- no we’re not quite at Will’s situation yet, no thank you.
For most of my friends, I can identify why or when we (or maybe just me) decided – yes, this person is going to be a good friend of mine. It all seems so superficial when you break it down to that.
If we really had all the time in the world to know heaps more people… would we still be friends with the people we are? Given more options, given more time. Would TheY still want to be friends with us? What are we missing out on? Would they really help me out if I was in trouble? Yeah. I don’t know. |
| posted by su @ 9:03 AM |
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| Im ToTAlly PumPed!! |
| 14.8.07 |
I was super ENERGETIC&HYPER today!!
But now im sitting in front of my lappie thinking what work to begin with first.
Work today was for 4 hours! with a stomach filled with just 2 bites of my packed sandwich. Well done, Su !
Spent time at the dinner table being restless, talking nonsense - poor TuTu i was just bugging her all evening psychobabbling. Roamed around the floors of my building visitng people, seeing who lived where, various rooms, talking to people sitting in corridors, seeing the rehearsal for a scene i'm not in.. Before that was playing it out on the piano to avoid annoying Tu further, singing once HengLin came by to play proper music, watching Michael do Poi.. ( this waving ribbons on the end of a string thing- i can do it too! like simple weaving motion, Yeah!)
Now.. back to uni work.
Goodness me, for some of the subjects, i have no idea what sort of questions they're gonna ask and how i'll be able to answer them. Seriously.. sigh.
Nothing like studying to bring u crashing back down to earth.
- - |
| posted by su @ 10:56 PM |
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| Upcoming stuff, tiredness & photos.. |
| 13.8.07 |
I'm suppose to go for a dance practice in less than an hour. Its the opening act of the first ever Australia-Malaysia Film Fest.
I'm in the college musical and was at the publicity booth for an hour today. I chalked ads on the sidewalks the other day. And i most probably have practice at 9 later.
I went to the gym today. I am now a member for 2 weeks. I also went for street latin dance class for an hour at another part of uni.
I have an IFA tutorial tmr. After which i have to go to work for 4 hours.
I went to the bank today. Applied for a credit card and extended credit so i could pay fees. I paid $1800 of fees to college today. And im paying more tmr.
I have 2 weeks of OB reading to do. I have a chapter of Corporations Law to read. I have a corp law tutorial tmr after the lecture, which i do not really need to prepare for thank goodness.
OKAY!
From New Zealand..
My little snowman~~!! Wheeeeeee..e.e.e.e.ee.e. there was snow EVERYWHEREEEEE!!!!
The four of us who went... Zed, Yien, Me and Jian.
Abt.. Tiredness
- Didn't sleep to well last night. Kept waking up through the night. Really didnt want to wake up in the morning. Had to drag myself out.
Hoping for a good night's sleep tonight.
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| posted by su @ 5:35 PM |
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| 26.7.07 |
JUNXI!!
His name was JUNXI!! |
| posted by su @ 5:28 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: su
Home:
About Me: Origin: Malaysia
carried out life in Singapore.. 2 years exactly.
Currently: Melbourne
See my complete profile
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